My baby’s moving/fetal activity was continued until the final month. I returned the portable machine which can listen to the heart beat in my house. Training was good. I walked a lot with my short boots with heels. Everyone said “You should do everything you want! Because after the childbirth, you can’t do it freely!” OK, I would try. Though my ‘everything I want’ was working. Recordings, photo shootings, video shootings, radios, real meetings, location hunting. I also joined business networking event and talked about new projects. I wore the cloth that didn’t show off my belly and felt I did my best with my baby in my belly. I was happy.
One day, I was almost late for the meeting. I run toward the flashing traffic light, saying “sorry my baby, please try hard.” And stop immediately. “What?” I thought. “What?” I said to myself. “Why you want to make the baby try hard? Even the baby is not born yet. Stupid. It is totally different trying hard by myself from making my baby try hard. Don’t push my unborn baby by my own circumstances. The only role I can is to be there for my baby. I can’t breathe or get energy from the amniotic fluid instead of my baby.”
This incident was totally different from my work like video shooting. The things with my whole effort without any pressure to my belly, and The thing by my selfish circumstances. Though those are looks like similar for other people. This moment is unforgettable for me. I still remember the light, the color of cars thorough along me, the running bicycle far away and so. If there is the switch of “mother” from “expectant mother”, this moment was the pushing switch.
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NFT Art / アート作品
“ Maternity Eternity “
https://opensea.io/collection/maternity-eternity-0
Artist : Ekotumi
Photo : Richard Lee
